Civility is What Love and Justice Look Like in Public and the Practice of Conscious Leadership

Had a tough week? First, change your state and get in the soul food groove with the SFSU Pep Band playing Chameleon with my son Arman on keys:

https://www.facebook.com/arman.sedgwickbillimoria/videos/10211598792992643/

Better?
This week:

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To paraphrase Cornel West, Civility is What Love and Justice Look Like in Public:
In the last week I attended the 6th Annual Community Conference on Restoring Civility here in San Diego. Some pundits say our hyper-partisan orientation has not been this polarized and negative since the Civil War (and that’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one)!
Today, 79% of Americans believe incivility is a crisis http://www.webershandwick.com/news/article/poll-finds-americans-united-in-seeing-an-uncivil-nation-divided-about-cause
“We have been tracking how civility impacts our nation’s social fabric since 2010, and we have seen a steady increase over that time in the recognition of how civility is a major problem facing Americans,” said Andy Polansky, CEO of Weber Shandwick.

Any theory of change must include a healing piece to go along with the theory of action or it simply will not uptake and stick.
Distinctions were made between debate, deliberations, discourse and dialogue.
Some takeaways: When you are addressing situations fraught with opposing and deep seeded beliefs, facts don’t seem to matter. What matters is LISTENING to UNDERSTAND the other person’s beliefs and striving to find shared experiences that can be the foundation from which civil dialogue can ensue. We have to get out of our echo chambers and start engaging civilly or we can forget about the “reunited” states of America.
Check out the http://www.civilitycenter.org/ and the civility scorecard for some ideas and best practices…

How early is too early to start teaching principles of democracy and the need for civil not just civic engagement?
Here is an approach that could scale across the nation, inspired from insights gleaned from the presenters and participants at the civility conference.

What if ALL universities (institutions of higher learning) saw themselves first and foremost as community colleges (to be great globally you must be strong and relevant locally), took it upon themselves to equip young people for the world ahead with these transferrable and irreplaceable social skills of cultural competency & committed to serving as the centers of civility and safe/brave spaces in their communities- however they choose to define and embrace community.
As part of their authentic outreach to their local stakeholders uni-versities, probably better reframed as multi-versities can help discern the difference between free speech and protected speech, teach and model civility both on their campuses and in their larger community.

What if these student-run initiatives were modeled in the spirit of learn, practice, teach and each cohort as part of community service scaled the work and taught these skills to each other? This could be student leaders to other students. University students to high school students. High school students to Middle schoolers…
Faculty and students from Washington State University Vancouver modeled a training session for deliberative dialogue fabulously so we know the pilot is in place both here and in other areas.
No longer can universities self-ascribe to being the wisdom holders and culture bearers in society if they can’t embed these values in their community, and they will be most likely to achieve this by partnering with the community leaders that are also wisdom holder and culture bearers sans the ped-degree.
Isn’t it time we turn our deepest wounds into a personal/community mission and might civility in its most basic form become a civil right and responsibility we preserve and protect for future generations?
I invite each of us today, to make a commitment to modeling civility. After all the whole world and our kids are watching!

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5 Deadly Sins of Conscious Leadership
It’s hard to positively define conscious leadership, but you can be sure that if you’re making any of these fatal mistakes, you’re not actually practicing it…
https://consciouscompanymedia.com/personal-development/leadership/five-deadly-sins-conscious-leadership/

 

If you are Local (by Chronology):

Encinitas Street Fair April 29th and 30th
Swing by the stage right next to the Lotus Café on the 101 at 11 am on Saturday and catch us singing some Beatles tunes and playing some Jack Johnson with the Encinitas School of Music:
http://local.encinitaschamber.com/events/details/encinitas-spring-street-fair-2-days-1897

Mission Federal ArtWalk 2017 April 29 and 30th in San Diego’s Little Italy:
Get out and enjoy some of San Diego’s finest art experience on what promises to be a sun-filled weekend with local heart-ists!
Hope to see you there Sunday…
https://www.artwalksandiego.org/missionfederal/

Conscious Contracts & Covenants: Maintaining your conscious vision … even after you’re gone May 3rd 4-7:30 Enlightened Win/Win Agreements that Support the Conscious Vision of its Leaders

How do you create a conscious culture when your company’s structural documents are unconscious? We must bring awareness and consciousness to our short- and long-term interactions, to how we treat and negotiate with each other. That is the essence of both Enlightened Negotiation and Conscious Contracts.
If you are interested in creating a more conscious organization, you will value this…
Learn. Network. REGISTER.

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“Embody Your Future”

Saturday, May 6 at 2:30 PM – 4:30 PM

Marriott Courtyard Hotel, Solana Beach  (717 South Highway 101)

This is a complimentary event with Scott Coady where he will share some fundamental leadership principles and address any questions you have about The Art of Leadership Mastery Program, his work with The Institute for Embodied Wisdom, and his unique and powerful approach to leadership, embodiment and distinctions of language.

Scott Coady is the founder of the Institute for Embodied Wisdom in Ojai, CA and the founder of the Association of Transformational Leaders SoCal.  He works with CEOs and executive teams around the world on transformational leadership and high performance teaming.

Scott will personally introduce you to some of the techniques and practices taught in his Art of Leadership Mastery Program (www.embodiedwisdom.com/alm ). These techniques can enable you to generate a more authentic and powerful presence, support you in generating trust, becoming a more authentic and powerful leader for yourself and for your organization.

Eventbrite Link – https://eyf-051617-sd.eventbrite.com/
Facebook Link – https://www.facebook.com/events/1853959704842561/

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The Samurai Game®

Sunday, May 7 at 9 AM – 6 PM

The Samurai Game® is a fast-paced, highly challenging simulation training. Live and unscripted, it presents a series of fascinatingly unpredictable and challenging situations that reflect the pressures of professional and personal life.

The Samurai Game® requires each participant to fully engage with others and become keenly aware of the interplay of thought, feeling, action and outcome. From this perspective, individuals and teams become more aware of existing habits and the potential for positive constructive change and action. Participants have experienced:

* Move More Decisively When There is No Clear Choice * Unlock Your Ability to Flow: Take on More with Less Effort * Increase Self Awareness and Self Trust * Learn to Build Trust and Rapport in Critical Situations  * Practice Mindfulness Under Pressure * Learn to Strengthen Trust and Alliances in Critical Situations

Eventbrite Link – https://oceansidesamuraigame.eventbrite.com/
Facebook Link – https://www.facebook.com/events/809818489170410/

Thanks this week go to:
Carl L, Ken D, and all the organizers and attendees of the Civility Conference
Eric K and all the members of the Conscious Leaders Collective
The San Diego Chapter of Conscious Capitalism
The Mission Fed ArtWalk team
and Robert Mc. for sharing Scott Coady with us!

Pay it forward!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108 Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

Civility is What Love and Justice Look Like in Public”

Your Soul Food for the Friday before Earth Day 2017: Seeing with a new set of eyes can transform your life!

“I will see it when I believe it.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer

While it might be true that there are none so blind as those that will not see, it is also true that seeing with a new set of eyes can transform your life!

Enjoy these powerful examples of sight restored, don’t take yours for granted, and if you are blessed with sight remember Hellen Keller’s admonition; “What good is sight, if you have no vision!”

 

This week:

Grandpa Sees Colors for the First Time in His Life:
His reaction is soulful!
https://www.facebook.com/viralthread/videos/731127433726609/

“As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can’t see how it is.”— Ram Dass

Two Doctors Embark on One of their Most Challenging Missions: Fighting Blindness and Partial Blindness
This story will touch your heart and this is a powerful reminder of how to build a sustainable and scalable solution to a seemingly intractable problem.
One of the best 60 Minutes episodes I have ever seen!
http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/out-of-darkness/

“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” —Anais Nin

National Haiku Poetry Day:
Here are some fun sub-missions from Monday of this week…
https://twitter.com/hashtag/NationalHaikuPoetryDay?src=tren

 

If You Are Local:
National Teacher Appreciation Day is May 2nd and We Still Want to Celebrate YOU!
70 tickets have already been snatched up, and planning is now underway for a Los Angeles event the following evening!
The Editor-in-Chief and CEO of Chicken Soup for the Soul has decided to come to California to attend!
Join us if you can…
http://www.inspirationforteachers.com/

Thanks this week go to Marlaine M, Alex K, and Seers everywhere!

Pay it Forward
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108 Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

National Dolphin Day! Cultural Competency, Trauma Smart Systems and Ways to Widen the Circle of Concern and Compassion

This week:
Channeling Socrates… Please THINK!

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It’s National Dolphin Day:
Dolphins are highly social animals that form superpods in which they form strong bonds and stay with injured or ill individuals, even helping them breathe by guiding them to the surface.
In a world of sharks, I hope you can be that dolphin that makes a difference!
http://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-dolphin-day-april-14/
BTW, there are over 1,200 national days. Don’t miss a single one. Celebrate Every Day!

20 Year Anniversary of the Rady Children’s Center for Healthier Communities:
I was privileged to attend this event on behalf of the Ackerman Foundation on Wednesday.

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It was an inspiring gathering that showcased the amazing work and impact this group has had over 2 decades in partnership with many other local organizations.

I was particularly struck by the comments and call to action by Dr. Bob Ross, President and CEO of the California Endowment, who highlighted 3 main themes:

  1. This work is exemplary; ensuring the circle of human concern and compassion is as wide as it can be. In today’s narrative, beyond politics and personalities, the exclusion circle narrative seems to be winning out v the inclusion circle narrative. Children’s hospitals over the last 4 decades have remained warm, welcoming inclusive environments where NO CHILD is turned away based on their documentation status, religious beliefs, demography or other factors. We can’t turn back the clocks on ensuring the circle of compassion is as wide as it can be and ensuring this cultural competency remains integral to our work in every sector of society.
  2. Remaining vigilant of Trauma Adversity. Early implications and the data suggests that the old adage, “time heals all wounds” is not true! Multiple doses of trauma have long term implications for long term health and wellbeing and we need trauma smart systems to proactively address these challenges and limit the adverse impacts.
  3. Keep advocating for healthcare for all. We have gone from over one million kids in the US not having access to healthcare to less than 75,000 but this with the Obamacare rollback and risks to Medicare need to be social issues we add our voice, power and advocacy to preserve and protect and will require a fight to get to 100% universal coverage.

Thanks for the generous support from the Ackerman Foundation to supporting these causes and our community!

If Living Better Matters to You and Your Organization, You Might Enjoy This Interview with Yours Truly on a Local Radio Station- KSON:
http://www.kson.com/blogs/living-better-san-diego/mission-federal-credit-union

If you are local:

Join us for Purpose San Diego on April 19th @ the Corporate Alliance:
PURPOSE SAN DIEGO – WHERE BUSINESS MEETS PURPOSE
IN PARTNERSHIP WITH GAME CHANGERS
PRESENTS
BREAKFAST CLUB – KICK OFF EVENT
APRIL 19, 7:30AM
CORPORATE ALLIANCE OF SAN DIEGO

PURPOSE SAN DIEGO  is uniting minds
to magnify positive impacts on society
through business.

You are invited to the launch event
of the monthly Breakfast Club.

ATTEND  THIS GREAT EVENT TO:

  • Be a leader in purposeful business space.
  • Align your organization with a purpose driven mission.
  • Find your passion purpose(s).
  • Connect with others who share your purpose, for greater impact.
  • Share best practices and learnings to accelerate the journey.
  • Learn from expert speakers, innovators, and thought leaders in this field.

PURPOSE SAN DIEGO’S MISSION IS TO:

  • Unite purpose-driven organizations & individuals to strengthen our local purposeful business community.
  • Create more awareness about the conscious business movement and how all can participate.
  • Grow our collective through purpose driven connections.
  • Share resources, best practices, and learnings to powerfully enhance our positive impact on society.

TIME & PLACE
WEDNESDAY APRIL 19, 7:00 – 9:30 AM

CORPORATE ALLIANCE OF SAN DIEGO
9171 TOWNE CENTRE DRIVE #180

PARTNERS
GAME CHANGERS | CORPORATE ALLIANCE

TICKETS
Eventbrite – The Kick-Off Breakfast Event by PURPOSE SAN DIEGO!
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/purpose-san-diego-breakfast-club-the-launch-event-tickets-33033121957

Restoring Respect 6th Annual Conference on Restoring Civility, April 18-19th @ UCSD Kroc Institute for Peace and Justice:
Modeling Civility Has Never Been More Important
Add your Voice and Power to the Change We Wish to See in the World!
https://www.sandiego.edu/uploads/62a57cd3b9997e0e992d187d74275ce1.pdf

April is also National Sexual Assault Awareness Month:
“There is increasing evidence that, with support from a caring adult and high-quality treatment, many children and parents effectively recover and may feel stronger and closer as a family in the aftermath of a traumatic experience.”
http://www.nctsnet.org/resources/public-awareness/national-sexual-assault-awareness-month%20

Join us for this Human Trafficking Awareness event Tuesday April 25th from 4 to 5:30pm
kNOw MORE! And Change the World for the better, together!
This performance uses dialogue, abstract dramatized images and spoken work to incite curiosity and prompt a learning journey toward understanding red flags and vulnerabilities in human trafficking
Event Flyer: No More Know More
Please RSVP on our Eventbrite page:
https://thesourceofchange.eventbrite.com/

Come to Triton Entrepreneur Night April 27th 2017
Celebrate Innovation and Entrepreneurship with big exhibits, live demonstrations, team pitches and networking with the entrepreneurial-minded folk that have started or backed startup companies.
You can register at: http://www.ucsdbasement.com/

Thanks this week go to the Team at Rady Children’s Center for Healthier Communities and the Ackerman Foundation, Larry K and the Purpose Breakfast Club, Naila C and all those committed to addressing Human Trafficking as well as Social Entrepreneurs committed to changing the world for the better!

Pay it forward please!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108 Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“If you want to be happy practice compassion; if you want others to be happy, practice compassion – The Dalai Lama

Teaching – An Important Parable, Fighting Rape Culture, Education and a New Future, and some Local Inspiration

This week:
An Important Parable:

A Teacher was writing the table of 5’s on the board:
5X1=3
5X2=10
5X3=15
5X4=20
5X5=25
5X6=30
5X7=35
5X8=40
5X9=45
5X10=50

After writing she turned back towards the students and found that everybody was laughing at her. On asking the reason for laugh, couple of students got up and told her

Ma’am- the first line of the table is wrong…It should be 5

Hearing this the Teacher (smiling) explained “I wrote the first line wrong on purpose, because I wanted you to learn something important. This was for you to learn how the real world will treat you. I wrote 9 correct lines but nobody congratulated me but one mistake and everybody pointed at it.

Moral: The world will never appreciate a billion right things you do but will criticize you for one wrong doing. Therefore, never ever get disheartened if somebody criticizes you. Take it positively and rise above all criticisms.

“Honest, open questions are countercultural,”
– Parker Palmer: The Journey Toward An Undivided Life

 

Powerful Video Urges Men To Fight Rape Culture To Protect Their Daughters:
Trigger warning… This has some bad language and broaches an incredibly difficult subject, but if we don’t ask honest questions and address the issue, who will?
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/12/14/dear-daddy-campaign-video-care-norway_n_8802942.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000004

Some of the Chibok girls are getting an Education and a New Future:
Much has been written about the Chibok girls, the 276 schoolgirls from the village of Chibok in northern Nigeria who were kidnapped by Boko Haram in April 2014. A few have been found or rescued in the past few months; most are still missing. However, there’s another group of those Chibok girls we’ve heard less about — those who managed to escape the night of the abduction.
https://www.pri.org/stories/2017-03-28/some-chibok-girls-are-getting-education-and-new-future

Self-Care: Putting on Your Oxygen Mask First:
Did you know that Penn State University recently published a research article outlining the impacts of stress on teachers? According to their study, teacher stress “compromises their health, sleep, quality of life, and teaching performance.” The good news is the study also cited mindfulness practices as an intervention to help reduce teacher stress.
https://dmind.org/self-care-putting-oxygen-mask-first/?utm_source=Niroga+News&utm_campaign=59052e4cf0-DM+NoLa+%231&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f1e8301031-59052e4cf0-112790825&mc_cid=59052e4cf0&mc_eid=837f607469

Local Inspiration for Teachers:
A celebration of You on National Teacher Appreciation Day May 2nd
http://www.inspirationforteachers.com/

Thanks this week go to David S, the team at Parenting 2.0, the team at the Niroga Institute, and Alex K!
Pay it forward!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108 Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence
and making sure that impact lasts in your absence”

Zoom Focus, Community Heroes, Happiness & Teaching Each Other Well

Happy Soul Food Friday!

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“I am blessed to live in a democracy, not a totalitarian state. But the democracy I cherish is constantly threatened by a brand of politics that clothes avarice and the arrogance of power in patriotic and religious garb.”—Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness

This week:
Community Heroes:
In a world in dire need of civility, San Diego has embarked on a Community Heroes campaign created by KPBS and the National Conflict Resolution Center, with sponsorship support from the San Diego Foundation, the Jewish Community Foundation and Mission Fed, honoring individuals who give selflessly to build civility and community.
http://www.kpbs.org/community-heroes/
We are proud to honor the first Community Hero of 2017 for her work on racial justice and equality, Elizabeth Bustos, and here are some remarks shared about Ms. Bustos at the inaugural lunch this past week..

Greetings fellow foot soul-diers committed to the cause of equity, inclusion and social justice!
Thanks for affording each of us the opportunity to be part of today’s amazing experience celebrating Ms. Bustos and by extension, all the community heroes making a difference of consequence in creating America’s kindest region.

Please forward this on, as EID (equity, inclusivity and diversity) are core values of this work…
Elisabeth,

Thanks for “championing the un-champion-able” and tackling racial injustice HEAD ON in South-East San Diego and by extension in our extended community with a little help from your friends!

It is no co-incidence that heart health is the underpinning of your decades of work towards healing and wholeness.

Your journey of heart health has taken our community from anger to courage to compassion.
Our collective journey of heart is moving us from broken hearts to whole-heartedness, and so vitally needed at this critical time in our EVOL (love backwards) –ution

You are modeling and mentoring how each of us, in our own ways, can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones with grace and forgiveness applying equal parts; history lesson, civic engagement and assessing our own risk and/or contribution to this equation to advancing the human race.

Let’s remember, even the heart pumps blood to itself first…
Thanks for bringing voice to the silent killer that is anything but silent; as so many voices are crying out for dignity, truth and no excuses, birthed in a legitimate anger embedded in the pain of our existence, which serves as a foil to unmask the “posers” from the legitimate and committed change makers, which the people in the room today clearly represent.

Yes, Ms. Virtue has a great name.

But, you Ms. Bustos do too, and we can all learn from you:

B= Benevolence and a genuine love of humanity in all its manifestations
U= Universal truths that you speak and remind us all to hold sacrosanct
S= Social Justice, which should remain our moral compass in this journey
T= Togetherness/Inclusivity where we are all interconnected and interdependent (If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far, go together)
O= Own It! We all have a role to play in being part of the solution. A part or apart. That little space makes a big difference!
S= Service before self and subordinating our personal needs for the greater good
Trust and Truth
TnT- dynomite!!

Inspired by your courage, compassion and conviction…
Love,
Neville

Nominate a Hero!
The next critical topic is Affordable Housing and we welcome your nominations of people who:

Represent the topic of interest.
Promote community, collaboration and civility.
Showcase creative problem solving.
Support and align with the missions of KPBS and NCRC, and that of the program.
Resonate with and inspire our community (and have emotional impact).
Have significant indirect or direct community impact. You can nominate them here:https://kpbsoutreach.wufoo.com/forms/z1u0mm7g0nq8o40/

Happiness and Life Satisfaction: Our Word in Data
There is no doubt that the positive or negative view that we have of our lives is of huge importance to each of us. For this reason economists frequently recommend to include measures of subjective well-being in measures of social progress – and in particular to augment the usual measure of economic prosperity, GDP…
https://ourworldindata.org/happiness-and-life-satisfaction/

Zoom Focus:

Zoom Focus

“Vision without Execution is hallucination.”
– Einstein

I believe every one of us has a desire to accomplish great things, to do something meaningful, to have an impact. Yet, so many of us don’t take the actions necessary to create the success we desire. Then there are others who are very busy taking actions but the actions have nothing to do with their vision and goals. They’ve become lost in the busyness of life.

In my work with sports teams, businesses and organizations I have found that the key to individual and team success is to Zoom Focus. Zoom Focus helps you turn ideas and goals into reality and results. Zoom Focus helps you focus on your priorities, execute, and create success. Zoom Focus helps you take daily steps towards your big picture vision.

Now more than ever it is a time for action. It is a time for getting things done. It is a time to tune out the distractions and the noise from the doomsdayers and the naysayers and focus on what truly matters and what truly will help us create success. In this spirit here are a few ways to put Zoom Focus to work for you and your team.

Create your Big Picture Vision – This might be a goal or a dream. It might be a project that needs to be completed or a sale you are trying to close. It might be a company objective or a team mission. It might be a book you want to write, an initiative to improve your community, or a championship you want to win. Identify your vision and then you’ll be ready to Zoom Focus and take the necessary actions to get you there.

Ask One Question – Each day when you wake up in the morning ask the question, “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then each day take action on those three things.

Tune out the Distractions – Turn off the television. Stop answering the phone. Don’t answer email right now. Talk to your friend later. First, get things done. Execute, accomplish and then feel free to embrace the distractions.

Say No and Yes – My friend once told me, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” He reminded me that we need to stop scattering our energy and wasting our time on trivial things that have nothing to do with our vision and goals and start saying yes to our priorities and to what truly matters. Each day we must make choices and those choices including saying “no” to people and opportunities so we can say “yes” to the work we are meant to do and the success we are meant to create.

Focus on Daily Improvement – I see it in sports all the time. Teams focus too much on winning the championship and forget to Zoom Focus each day in practice. They are outcome focused not process focused. The key is to focus on improving each day and take the necessary action steps. If you incrementally improve each day, each week, each month, each quarter, by the end of the year you’ll see remarkable results and growth. When you Zoom Focus on the process the outcome takes care of itself.

Teach Your Daughters Well:

The Three Things We Must Teach Our Daughters

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In today’s society, women are suffering. Our young women are suffering.  My granddaughters are suffering. Not because they are incompetent or weak, but because society tells them day-in and day-out that they are NOT good enough.

These conflicting messages become apparent as early as pre-teen years because our daughters look around and become very aware that males have privileges that they do not, and they realize they live in a male centered world. So, it’s no surprise girls become great at becoming something they are not. Change is needed.

My advocacy of women came about because of deep and sustained research of leadership effectiveness that the Gap company asked me to do. What I discovered at Gap was that women have distinctive advantages in leading teams and organizations that rely on collaboration. Women are especially able to create and implement innovation that people and their customers valued, and women especially excel in conditions of ambiguity and change.

My subsequent research took me deep into the field of neuropsychology. This is a new field that studies the interactive effects of our brain biology and social environment. This led me to understand how negative impact of systemic bias severely limits the lack of confidence that most women battle when fulfilling their potential in the workplace. It also inhibits women’s happiness and life satisfaction.

Put simply, it’s a man’s world. It has been for thousands of years. And the world we currently have is about as good as male brains can make it. It doesn’t appear to be good enough.

Due to the explosion of world population from 2.5 billion to 7.5 billion people the last 60 years, and an unprecedented advancement of technology, everything in our world has become more intensely interconnected. It turns out, the holistic neuro networks of female brains are better designed to deal with this complexity than the linear brains of most males. However, unless women’s voices and thinking versatility is elevated to the highest levels of our institutions, the short term, binary, blue brain thinking of testosterone thinking will continue to dominate.

We need to train our daughters to overcome the female self-doubt that is driven by the bias in our world culture. We need to obliterate the limits of women’s contributions that will lead to better business, better government and a better world.

In my women’s leadership training I summarize the mindset of successful high functioning women leaders. It is based on years of leadership science that examines the results of 360° leadership surveys and the business results achieved by high impact women leaders. It is also very relevant in teaching and raising young girls.

The foundation is confidence.  Confidence arises when you believe that the result of your best efforts will be successful. When you don’t have that experience because others, who are less capable, are consistently given more opportunities and advantages than you, it is natural for your confidence to erode. Too often, women settle for jobs which are designed to help other people achieve their goals.  But for our world to work for everyone young girls and women need to pursue their goals.

The confident mindset is built on three principles:

1.Be BRIGHT: Carol Dweck’s  growth mindset research confirms that if you have an IQ of 115,  you can learn anything.  You can become a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon. You can certainly become the President of United States.   This idea is new for women.  In 1960, nearly all major universities would not except women into their engineering programs.  1960! Most states would not license women to become architects until the 1950s because architecture was considered too technical a field for women to master.  Unfortunately, that mindset lingers.  We have to actively build a confidence of our girls that they are intellectually, socially, and emotionally gifted to learn whatever they need to learn to make the greatest contribution they can make in whatever field they choose. Teach your daughters that they can learn anything.

2.Be BRAVE. Personal bravery is a willingness to try things at the outer edge of your competence. When you are  brave enough to push yourself out of your comfort zone your learning and development expands.  One of the greatest abilities of women is their mental and social agility which allows them to move beyond mistakes and shortcomings to endlessly become better and better. Recent research from McKinsey and Company reveals that women continue to seek and grow from feedback after age 40. The research found that as men age they tend to respond to negative feedback defensively. They become more self-justifying. For women, the greatest deterrent to bravery is perfectionism.  Teach your daughters that a well lived life is a life of progress not perfection.

3.  Be TRUE. In the Facebook era, we swim in an ocean of social comparison. But high functioning people do not define themselves by comparing their looks, their achievements or their stuff to anyone else’s. To be true means that you consistently invest the inner energy necessary to understand your unique motivated talents.  These are the abilities that you love to use and develop. These are talents that can be harnessed in the service of what intrinsically rewards you. When your highest motives and your greatest talents are combined you’re on the path to fulfillment.

You are not your body.
You are not your achievements.
You are not your grades.
You are not your friends.
You are not your emotions.
You are not your fears.

You are not any of these things because all of these things change. You are something much deeper.  You have an intrinsic, essential self that is gently seeking to be fully realized.  You’re not seeking self-fulfillment as much as soul fulfillment. This is not an airy- fairy, quacky notion. It is the conclusion of the collective wisdom of thousands of years of philosophers and spiritual leaders worldwide. And after three decades of helping people fulfill their inner sense of purpose as well as their professional and personal goals, it is also my strongest conviction.  Teach your daughters not to be defined by anyone else, and to seek soul fulfillment.

Be bright.
Be brave.
Be true.

These are the things to teach your daughters and the young girls in our communities. One of the greatest benefits in teaching them these three principles is that you will more fully become the truth that you teach. For it is in our examples that the most powerful teachers emerge, always.

– Will

If You Are Local:
Teach Your Parents Well…
TEDx Youth Event in Encinitas on Saturday, April 1, 2017
TEDx Encinitas is a TEDx Youth event with a twist…  Instead of adults sharing their wisdom with youth, at this event the speakers are the young people (ages 11-21) and the audience is predominantly adults.    Come hear the wisdom of some incredible young minds share their perspective on the theme “Changing Voices”.  The event goes from 1:00 – 6:00 PM and will include an entire experience including entertainment and experiential activities in addition to the speakers.  If you are committed to supporting our youth this is the place to be!
For tickets or more information go to www.tedxencinitas.com or call Robert MacPhee at (760) 846-0312.

Thanks this week go to Community Heroes, sung and unsung everywhere, Paul S, Larry H, Will M, Robert M, and all the children that teach their parents well!

Please Pay it Forward
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not.
We heal our wounds with the love we wish we’d received, but are often blind to the wounds we inflict.”
― Andrew Solomon

Spring Equinox, Persian New Year, International Day of Happiness & Arts Advocacy Day 2017!

Happy Soul Food Friday for the Week of Spring Equinox, Persian New Year, International Day of Happiness & Arts Advocacy Day 2017!

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This week:

Fighting Hunger with an App:
Oscar Ekponimo grew up with very little food in Nigeria. He then became a software engineer and has invented an app that aims to end food waste by connecting retailers with charities who distribute provisions to the hungry.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04x230f

The One-Winged Eagle that Soared Again:
John Stokes from Tennessee and Osceola , a one-winged eagle, have travelled across America taking part in educational shows. They even had a residency at Dolly Parton’s theme park Dollywood. But there was just one sadness in their lives – Osceola’s one wing meant he could never fly again. So John came up with an ingenious idea to solve the problem…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04wysr5

Spring Equinox & Persian New Year on Monday, March 20, 2017:
The Spring (Vernal) Equinox fell on Monday, March 20, 2017 at 3:29 am PDT and is a time of changing seasons as well as a significant astronomical event.

The Sun crosses directly over the Earth’s equator. This moment is known as the Vernal Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere and begins the Spring season.

For the Southern Hemisphere, this is the moment of the Autumnal Equinox, and begins the Fall season.

On this day the sun rises precisely due East and sets due West.

It is a moment of equilibrium in the year. Translated literally, equinox means “equal night”.  Day and night are about equal in length all over the world during the equinoxes, twelve hours of each, because the sun is positioned above the equator.

The Spring Equinox signifies a rebirth. The duration of light is about to overtake the darkness.  After the Spring Equinox, the days become longer and the air warmer. The soil becomes fertile and all hibernating life is re-animated.  It is a time to plant seeds of growth.

The Spring Equinox is a time of renewal – in nature, the home, and in us. More than just physical activity, “spring cleaning” removes any negative energy accumulated over the dark winter months and resonates with the positive growing energy of spring and summer.

The Spring Equinox is a time where there is a special quality of energy – to plant, grow and renew our lives. Energy is emerging from the ground where it has been dormant in the earth since the winter solstice.

Wishing you a special day, symbolic of balance in our life and with the environment!

Emotionally Healthy Families are Happy Families:
This past Monday marked the International Day of Happiness, a day for everyone to promote happiness and kindness, aiming to feel fulfilled and having the ability to reach our potential, both of which can be achieved by supporting good emotional health in ourselves and our families…
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/nick-haismansmith/emotionally-healthy-famil_b_15383176.html

San Diego, Chula Vista among happiest cities in United States:
http://www.10news.com/news/san-diego-chula-vista-among-happiest-cities-in-united-states-according-to-study

Please Urge Congress to Support the Arts! 

This week, March 21st was also Arts Advocacy Day 2017, and OPERA America joined dozens of national arts service organizations to revise and update the national policy briefs.

This year, approximately 650 advocates from across the nation are visiting D.C. to talk to Congress about the issues impacting artists, arts organizations and the communities they serve. In fact, this year’s slate of issues includes 18 different policy briefs that range from support for the National Endowment for the Arts and arts in education, to preserving the charitable deduction and the impact of the arts on healing.

Not in D.C.? Not a problem! You can add your voice to the millions advocating across the country by sending a letter to your congressional representatives. OPERA America continues to represent the field daily in Washington, D.C., meeting regularly with congressional offices, working with national coalitions on a range of issues and providing opportunities for grassroots advocacy.

KEY POLICY ISSUES

Support the NEA: Last week, President Trump released a non-binding budget resolution that proposed the elimination of 19 federal agencies, including the National Endowment for the Arts. Congress must still put forward and pass their own budget legislation, which means there’s time to build and strengthen relationships with lawmakers and urge them to save the NEA and fund the agency at $155 million for fiscal year 2018.

Tax Reform: Congress is eager to tackle tax reform in 2017. There have been proposals from both sides of the aisle that would limit giving to charitable communities. The nonprofit sector is urging Congress to preserve the full scope and value of the tax deduction for all charitable gifts.

Visa Policy: With ongoing delays in the processing of visas for foreign guest artists, OPERA America continues to advocate to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services and the U.S. Department of State to reduce the processing times. Advocates also urge Congress to enact the ARTS Require Timely Service (ARTS) provision, which would support increased efficiency.

To learn more about these and other issues, visit OPERA America’s advocacy page. And please take a minute to join arts advocates from across the U.S. in urging Congress to support policies and legislation that impact the arts sector. 

If you are local:

Local Robotics Team First to Win the Super Regional Championships!

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FTC 4216 Rise of Hephaestus, spent over 5000 total hours working together over the past six months and won the Super Regional Championship in Tacoma, WA this past weekend as Team Captain of the Winning Alliance.  This is the first time a San Diego region FTC team has won at this level.  They are partially sponsored by none other than Qualcomm and a variety of other local sponsors.

The precepts they work under are:

Gracious Professionalism – FIRST

https://www.firstinspires.org/about/vision-and-mission

Gracious Professionalism is part of the ethos of FIRST. It’s a way of doing things that encourages high-quality work, emphasizes the value of others, and respects individuals and the community. With Gracious Professionalism, fierce competition and mutual gain are not separate notions.

Here is a newspaper article about them that just came out (see page 7):
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B0tMUxbNho9ncE1VbERnQW1nNVk

And a news conference they were recently in:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mi_EXJ_dVAs

Their Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseofhephaestus4216/

Their Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ftc4216RiseOfHephaestus

https://www.gofundme.com/ftc-4216-rise-of-hephaestus-worlds

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Click here to support FTC 4216 Rise of Hephaestus Worlds! by Rise Hephaestus

Please help support our local Point Loma/Ocean Beach First Tech Challenge robotics team FTC 4216 Rise of Hephaestus!  We have spent over 5000 total hours working together over the past six months to advance to the Super Regional Championship in Tacoma, WA and finished as Team Captain of the Winni…

Thanks this week go to Billy S, the team at the Global Presence, & Matt N and the Point Loma/OB First Tech Challenge Robotics Team!

Pay it forward…
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”– Albert Einstein

Channeling Adam Smith, I Am An Immigrant, Creating Networks and A Bit Of Humor To Lighten Your Load

Happy Soul Food for the Week of Pi Day!

This week: 

Pi Day was March 14th (3.14), and that’s also Albert Einstein’s birthday!

“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.”

Albert Einstein: The father of modern physics

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Channeling All of Adam Smith without Selective Listening
We all know and focus heavily on Adam Smith’s the Wealth of Nations but interestingly not as much on the Theory of Moral Sentiments.

The Theory of Moral Sentiments begins with the following assertion:

“How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortunes of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it. Of this kind is pity or compassion, the emotion we feel for the misery of others, when we either see it, or are made to conceive it in a very lively manner. That we often derive sorrow from the sorrows of others, is a matter of fact too obvious to require any instances to prove it; for this sentiment, like all the other original passions of human nature, is by no means confined to the virtuous or the humane, though they perhaps may feel it with the most exquisite sensibility. The greatest ruffian, the most hardened violator of the laws of society, is not altogether without it.”

Who We Are:
I am an immigrant.
I came over from India in the ‘70s with my courageous parents, and siblings, with just one suitcase each, following the dream and a hope for a better life.
Like many others, I remain seriously concerned about the pro-nationalist, isolationist rhetoric that threatens to undermine our democratic values and culture.
The following story and video are a powerful example of immigrants working hard and doing whatever it takes to attain the American dream.
It is a tale I am sure many immigrants can relate to and can help all of us increase our empathy, regardless of our immigration status or self-concept…
http://www.upworthy.com/storycorps-presents-who-we-are-blanca-and-connie-alvarez

How Creating Networks Build Winning School Districts:
Relationships and Social Capital are the foundation of everything we do in schools and probably beyond. Don’t undervalue the power of high trust relationships!
http://bit.ly/2ny4qyg

Humor: When the Kids Crash Your BBC Interview:
There are well-known drawbacks to working from home: the isolation, the need for self-discipline. But here is a new one: the invasion of the toddlers…
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/world/europe/bbc-interview-toddler-interruption.html?_r=1

Thanks this week go to Jason P, SD Grantmakers and Storycorps Chair Gara L, Cindy S and the Mission Fed team, the amazing duo of Alan D and Devin V, and Mama Marlaine C!

Pay it forward you can’t take it with you!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

New America’s Pledge:
We pledge allegiance to the principles,
Of the United Traits of America
And to the Values for which we Stand,
One Human-KIND
Under every God, or no God as YOU choose to believe,
INDIVISIBLE
With Dignity & Compassion for ALL.